Happy International Women’s day. Or not.

I’m extremely torn about celebrating this day. Like being a woman is anything better than being a man or something else? I’d be totally comfortable with celebrating this day if we lived in one of following three scenarios. If we lived in a world where there was two genders and everyone would belong to either or. If we had a society and world that treated men, women and others a 100 percent equally. Or if there was two genders and all the women identified strongly as women, all the men strongly as men, and there truly was gender-specific characters that we could embrace and celebrate without anyone being offended. If this was the case, I’d love to have a man giving me roses on the 8th of March every year.

But according to science, and facts, and life in general, and people around me, there are a lot more genders and more importantly, gender identities, than those outdated two everyone’s talking about. Also, according to statistics and above mentioned sources, men and women are far from equal. Fewer men get the full care of children in divorce-situations where that’s needed. Fewer women have highly payed jobs and very few are CEOs. Not to speak of those that don’t define as gender binary and can’t even have an appropriate gender term on their passports. And the last one does obviously not apply. For obvious reasons.

So even though celebrating and smiling and wishing each other happy this-and-that-days is nice sometimes, this particular day made me a bit anxious. I must have looked extremely sleepy and sad in the store today, because the woman at the cashier smiled so warmly and wished me a happy women’s day that I must have lit up from 0 to a hundred. And if one of my friends had surprised me with a rose I wouldn’t have minded, but then again I would probably have felt weird about it afterwards.

We took some portraits at school today. I’ve got some red spots (Elina told me they come from stress) under my eye so I look a bit weird. Also I’ve fallen asleep around 10 every evening and woke up at a lot of really random times with nightmares and an urge to drink water. I’ve had these things before but it’s always been a bit different and I’ve been able to put a finger on the issue, even though I haven’t necessarily been able to fix it. Now I know exactly what to do with all of my time, and as far as I can see there’s no real issue anywhere. So what’s up face? And head? And stomach? Helloou?

Anyway I’ve been studying for my matriculation examination for like 4 hours and I’m totally finito so  I’ll be heading to sleep just as early. Tomorrow awaits a long and great day with a meeting with the ministry of education, then a demonstration against cuts in the student support, followed by a coffee meeting with two FSS-colleagues about the future of the organisation, and then some guests will come over and at some point I’ll need to study a bit more and hopefully I’ll get my hair cut in the evening. bkjfodsälkfnlmöslaäpojsidj. Love it though.