It’s been more than 10 years since I started school. It’s been almost 4 years since I started blogging. It’s been three years since I first candidated for the youth council, with no intention or idea of what I was going to do just a few years later. Today, it’s been 17 years since I was born.
You think you know yourself. You think life is hard. You think this is as good as it gets.
And you’re always wrong. I hate admitting that I’m wrong. I’m rarely wrong. But over these last few years, I’ve been trying to tell myself that it doesn’t matter who you are or what you’re doing, you’re still human. Realizing that makes interaction with other human beings a lot easier, but also a lot harder. I try to see it as a strength, to be able to admit being wrong, making a mistake and just hurting others. It happens. Things happen. Life happens. But honesty helps a bit.
For most people today is another ordinary autumny Thursday morning. It’s not cloudy, and it’s not sunny, not that cold but not really warm either. People got work, school, exams, doctor’s appointments, packages to pick up, e-mails to answer, family to hug, another few thousand kilometers to walk to get to a safe country. Just like yesterday.
I’ve got a bit of a mile-pole-day. I woke up alone, and it was the first birthday ever when no one had made breakfast in bed and came in singing with candles way too early. Yes, I’ve got an amazing family. No, they didn’t leave me, they’re just on vacation. And yes, Elina called me just a while later and sang on the phone with her friends. As I said, amazing family. But it was still a bit surprising, waking up and not thinking about the whole birthday-thing (although I was up all night cleaning and cooking). I remember how it used to be the best day of the year, everything was about you, you got gifts and hugs and people sang and there were balloons everywhere. Yes, I had a pretty happy childhood.
Now I didn’t even remember the gifts-thing until someone asked me what I wanted for my birthday a couple of days ago. I was so surprised that I didn’t even know what to answer. I went over old wishlists from the past years and laughed at myself for wishing for pens and paper and certain toys and scrapbooks and computer games and movies. I remember always wanting to try out the new things I got immediately. Perhaps the biggest realization I’ve had while I was 16, was just how much more valuable time and experience are, compared to physical things.
In just these past 395 days, I’ve had the opportunity to meet thousands of people. I’ve probably seen a thousand places, and like a hundred cities. I’ve been in more than 15 countries. I’ve flied like…. lots of times. I’ve worked with, talked to and hanged out with some of the best, most beautiful, talented, intelligent, hard-working, successful, funny, kind-hearted people there is. I’ve met a ton of idiots. I’ve cried a lot, and laughed a lot. In a way it’s been such an amazing year, but the devastating parts of it are hard to deal with.
Now I’m looking forward to a nice evening&night with some very important friends of mine!